By Chris Burkhard
“Never criticize, condemn, or complain.” If you’re a Dale Carnegie fan you know this is Principle #1. I have read How to Win Friends and Influence People so many times I can practically recite it.
In fact, I took the original Human Relations course 20-plus years ago and nothing gave more of an edge between my ears than this class. I gained real life skills and principles, and of course, confidence to use it. This was a part of our Outside-In culture and where many of what are cultural values are based on.
So what does this principle have to do with sales efforts? Well, everything. It is so basic, yet very hard.
For example, ever watch a sales person bash their competition’s product? I find myself defending the other even if I know very little about that car, appliance, or service. This is human nature and what this principle is all about. Customers want to work with sales people that they identify with and that they like. Every sales person wants to build strong “relationships”; and yet, often our actions defy and defeat our goal!
I am not saying following this principle is easy. All of us find it hard not to criticize when we find fault. Goodness knows, I have teenagers. I coach high school soccer. I lead a company of employees every day. There is a lot wrong, and a lot of opportunities for me to find fault if I wanted. However, there is something to be said for the old adage “You get more flies with honey than vinegar.” Treat people well, as they like to be treated.
Finding fault causes a person to defend their position…to look for a way to save face…to be vindicated! The bottom line is when we complain we are not attractive to others (and I don’t mean beauty!). When we find fault we divide relationships. When we criticize? Well, we force possible close relationships to defend and detract. Call it human nature.
Those three C’s never really work. Sure, you may feel better after. However, I have never ever seen a sales person win or a leader have impact or frankly, a parent get their kids to change by criticizing, condemning and complaining!
Burkhard is Founder and President of Newark-based Outside-In Companies: CBI Group & Placers, which provide recruitment and contingent workforce solutions. The companies have teamed up with Outside-In partner Barton Career Advisors, an outplacement solutions company based in Wilmington that provide end-to-end talent solutions.
